my name is Shawnna....

So, I was scouring the pages of WebMD the other day and found this article about food addiction and new research suggesting that it really does exist.  They didn't need to spend millions of dollars on research to find that out.  They could have asked any fat person on the street and they would have been told that it does.  I know it does.  I've lived it.  I live it still every day.  It's an every day struggle for a lot of people.  Much like a heroine addict craves their next fix, a food addict craves their next donut.
For the food addict, the reality of addiction is inescapable.  Unlike the drug addict who can go to rehab and come out clean, change their lives and move on to a life drug-free, the food addict must go through life day by day fighting that urge to over indulge in a tasty treat.  There is no rehab and no life free from the temptation.  Food is an integral part of our daily lives.  It fuels our bodies.
Junk food cries out to me, it's everywhere I turn.  At work, at the mall, around the corner, easily accessible everywhere you look.  Fighting the urge to buy a pretzel at the mall is like holding your breath under water for me.  Darn near impossible.  And once I take that first bite, there's no turning back.  My lack of self-control overwhelmes me until I have overindulged and am left feeling remorse and regret.
Current studies have shown that the brain of a food addict reacts the same way as a drug addicts brain reacts to getting high.  The same chemicals elicit the same response thus also creating the same chemical withdrawals.  They also create the same satiety thresholds.  The same amount that used to satisfy will no longer suffice, you need more and more which leads to extreme indulgence.
I have found what works for me is filling my body with wholesome healthy food during the early hours of the day and eating a smaller portioned dinner.  I don't get as hungry at night and am less at risk for giving into the temptation of the late night snack attack.  If I do happen to get an urge for something sweet I grab an apple, a few baby carrots or a Larabar (yum!).
I speak from experience for what it means to be a food addict and while there are no meetings I can go to, no rehab I can check into and no halfway house to help me though it, I do have my God, my friends and family....and this blog.
Hi, my name is Shawnna....and I am a food addict.

http://blogs.webmd.com/pamela-peeke-md/2010/04/junk-food-junkie-food-addiction-is-real.html

small successes

I was so thrilled to step on the scale Saturday morning to find that I lost another 2.8 lbs.  I treated myself to a Java Chip frapuccino from Starbucks and 2 Taco Johns softshell tacos.  I really hadn't expected to lose anything because this week had me pretty stressed out and I skipped going to the Y Thursday night and didn't get up in time to make it Saturday.  So far I have a grand total of 27.7lbs lost.  Looking at the bigger picture, I still have over 100lbs to go, but I like to think of it in small chunks.  Every pound is a victory.  The hardest part to me has been changing my way of thinking.  It's so easy to say "I'm on a diet so I must eat frozen Weight Watchers meals" instead of saying "I'm going to change my life and choose to eat healthy foods instead of fast food and processed foods".  I have been trying to make everything as fresh as I can and I think I am even going to try my hand at making fresh pasta.
When I went to the grocery store Thursday night I picked up some brown rice and black beans, a zucchini and a yellow squash.  I have been checking out recipes but if any of you have any good ones to go with these ingredients that are kid and husband friendly, please let me know!  I have to sneak things like that into our diet otherwise I get nasty faces and no members of the clean plate club.  My family has become reluctant participants in my pursuit of good health.  I even have to pull teeth and drag them by their ears to get them to join me at the Y.  I say that with nothing but love :-)
Despite the rainy weather we have been having, I got brocoli, cauliflower, lettuce, cilantro and a strawberry in their pots and on their way.  I still have a squash and tons of seed packets to get going.  I have wanted to have a garden for so long but have never quite had what it takes.  I mean, I am good at growing flowers but a vegetable is something that has eluded me for years now.  I had some success with cherry tomatoes last year but only ended up with a few that were good enough for consumption.  Between what I can grow on my own and what I can get at the farmers market, I hope to be able to have enough to can and freeze for the winter.  Oh how I would love to not have to buy store spaghetti sauce ever again!
I checked out the movie "Fast Food Nation" from the library and watched it last night.  Man, I don't know that I can ever enjoy a fast food burger again and feel good about myself.  It was an excellent movie that, in my opinion, depicted what is the harsh reality of things that most of us don't see or don't want to think about.  However, I caution you on letting the kiddos watch it.  It has harsh language, brief nudity and some scenes (like on the kill floor at the slaughterhouse) may be traumatizing to younguns.  I understand that some of it might be overdramatized for the sake of making a point, but when you consider that the people that head up most of our government agencies that oversee these industries are from the very industries that they oversee, It only makes you wonder what kind of things they would do to protect their own.
Well, I have a final episode of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution to catch up on Hulu.  If you haven't checked it out yet, take my advice and do so and while you are at it, sign the petition for healthier school lunches!
Adios mi amigas!

Discovery

Somebody smack me if I get too crazy about the whole food business. I was telling one of the girls here at work today about how she has to watch Food Inc because it will make her look at food in a different light. As I was explaining to her some different scenes in the movie she was totally grossed out and said that she couldn’t eat again after watching that and I told her that was the point. I also told her about an experiment that Jamie Oliver did on his show with the elementary aged kids, showing them how chicken carcasses are processed to make chicken nuggets and just how disgusting it really is. I may seem to be taking this whole thing a little bit overboard but I am just going to chalk it up to still being in the discovery phase. I am still learning new things everyday and am eager to share those tidbits of information with those around me and especially with those I love. I can’t stand to see McDonald’s killing my mom and it drives me insane that she would say “I know it’s not good for me but it tastes good”…that’s the point, that’s what they want you to say!!
I guess my whole mindset is changing from needing to buy weight watchers meals and “low calorie, healthy” processed foods to needing to fill myself with whole fresh fruits and veggies and homemade as much as possible. I want to cleanse my body from the years of abuse and toxins that I have filled it with.
Since I was lazy last night and didn’t give my body the exercise that it needs I am going to go tonight and have an extra long session. I like going to the Y on Friday nights because it is so quiet. Last week I went on a Friday and when I got there it was just me and 2 other people so I had my run of the place. I could try new things without looking like a fool. I hate trying new things when I think other people are watching me and laughing on the inside. I know they watch because I am a people watcher and besides, what else is there to do when you are stuck on an elliptical machine for ½ an hour? Last week I tried a few things on the Bosu ball only to find that I don’t quite have the coordination that it takes to stand on that thing with one foot. It was probably quite the comedy to watch! I gave up after only a few tries. Maybe if it’s quiet I will try again tonight. Maybe I can even talk Elizabeth into coming with me tonight. I love to see my baby girl working the weight lifting machines. She can be a real beast when she wants to. The kids hate going to the Y and it’s not that they hate the exercise because once they get there they are totally enthusiastic, I think it’s just the thought, the idea of it all. Exercise is, after all, a four letter word in the child mind. That is why PE is all about games and sports and not sit-ups and calisthenics like it used to be. I, personally, am an adrenaline junkie so exercise is perfect for me. Getting those endorphins pumping through my body, when you are done you just feel soooo good!
Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I give myself a quick workout before stepping on the scale. I can’t wait to see what is in store for me and I promise not to be disappointed if the scale only moves a few ounces. It’s hard to not put that kind of pressure on yourself especially when you have a goal that you are working towards. I can see the end result, I was there not too long ago, and I know how it feels, I can almost touch it in my mind. I have that little black dress hanging up in my closet waiting patiently for the day I can slip it on and watch my husbands eyes pop out of his head. In the meantime I hope to form new habits and a new way of life, not just for me, but for my whole family. Hopefully my discovery phase will rub off on them and not just pass them by!


-- on the move....Shawnna

Food can be Fun

I'm so excited.  Tonight I am going to watch Food Inc. online because I missed it last night.  I am totally scared to feed my kids food from a box now and find myself reading the labels meticulously before I put anything in the cart at the store.  The only problem I am running into is that I lack the culinary know how to be able to cook my family fresh food everyday.  I always thought fresh meant "I just cooked it even if it did come out of a box".   After all, that's how I was raised.
I went to Target after work today to pick up some groceries and found myself having to tell my daughter "NO" about a dozen times.  It seems almost abusive to deny them a sweet treat even every now and then but at the same time isn't it abusive to be putting all that stuff you can't pronounce into our bodies??
I have found myself becoming a fan of "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution".  What an undertaking!  If you haven't seen it yet, check it out on Hulu.com.  Jamie believes that in order to combat obesity in our nation we need to start with the children and getting the processed food out of their diets.  Yes, the kids like it because it tastes good, however, if you give them only one choice and it's a healthy choice, they will take it.  Over time, they will grow to like it.  I have had this discussion with both of my kids and according to my 13 year old son, who will eat anything that isn't nailed down, I am an excellent cook and he doesn't care what I make as long as it doesn't try to eat him first.
Needless to say I can't wait for the farmers market to begin and be able to meet with my friend, Diana, so she can school me on how to prepare the fresh veggies that are currently in season.  I have never tried most of them let alone know how to cook them so that kids will eat them!!  Hopefully she can find the time to show me the ropes so that I can pass it on to my family and curious others.
The internet is such an amazing resource and wealth of unregulated information all at our fingertips.  Growing up I would have spent hours at the library to gather the information that I have garnered in just a few short hours on my Mac.  Today I did some research on making fresh pasta and also canning.  It all looks so fun and easy!  Not only that, but what a great way to bond with your friends and family and enjoy some fellowship time.  I can't wait for the opportunity to make some fresh spaghetti with my son and can some homemade spaghetti sauce with my daughter.
Who knew that eating fresh could be so much fun and why did they never tell me????

stop the insanity!

So, today I was reading some posts on a friends facebook and stumbled across an article about how dangerous high fructose corn syrup and other sweeteners are to our bodies. While I am all for being as natural as possible, I do love my soda, diet soda. So, I did some research on sucralose, stevia and high fructose corn syrup and found very conflicting information. On either side there are as many pros as there are cons. One of the gals I work with has a son in biochem at Drake and she said that he is to the point where he is scared to eat a lot of things because of what it does to our body. I admit, I do read labels and if something contains a lot of things that I can't pronounce, then I don't need it. The thought of high fructose corn syrup having such adverse affects on our bodies never really crossed my mind. Now in reading about artificial sweeteners and how they affect our appetites and cause us to overeat.......I'm in a tailspin to say the least! If I am understanding things correctly then using an artificial sweetener such as splenda or aspartame in place of sugar in an attempt to lose weight will only cause you to eat more, albeit unintentionally, thus gaining weight due to uncontrolled satiety! Please help me understand this and if I am getting this right. I want to wrap my head around this and make the best possible choices before it is too late to establish different eating patterns for my family. It's so hard to fathom that those who stand so much to gain from us as consumers would try to murder us. I see no sense in that. HELP!!!

In the beginning.....

I grew up being your average thin kid. My mom and the rest of my family always teased me about how thin I was. After the birth of my eldest son, I started to put on weight. I got to a size 14 which was the largest I had ever been. I tried weight watchers and failed miserably. After the birth of my daughter, I really packed on the pounds. I remember working in the front yard and being bent over and having someone drive down the road and yell something crude at me because of the size of my behind. I wasn't going to take it anymore and resolved to lose weight. My husband and I joined the Y and I became "super healthy woman". I went from 238lbs to 138lbs and was in a size 2. I could bench press 150lbs. I rode my bike back and forth to work as the weather allowed and did water aerobics twice a week plus I was running about 5miles per day. I started having pain in my legs and visited the orthopedic surgeon who advised me that I have a genetic defect in my knees and that running would only accelerate the arthritis. So I packed on the pounds once again, eating anything I wanted without a care in the world to the tune of 289.5lbs. My blood pressure went up, my blood sugar went up and I was in danger of having a heart attack or ending up diabetic. We have been planning a vacation to FL for this summer and taking the kids to Disney and I want to be able to enjoy the rides with the kids. I really don't want to go through the emberassment of not being able to fit on the rides. I want to have the energy to keep up with my kids and really enjoy myself. I'm tired of hurting all the time, I'm tired of being afraid that I might have a heart attack, I'm tired of being out of breathe when I walk from my office to my car.

I have recently become conscious of what I am putting in my mouth and where it came from, trying to cut out processed foods and eat a little healthier. At the same time, I thought to myself that I like exercise. I am an adrenaline junkie and I love the way you feel right after a workout. One February 28, 2010 my husband and I joined the Y once more and I have resolved this time to keep it off for good. 2 years ago at work we did a blood profile and we did that again this year on March 12. Already I was realizing the fruits of my changes as my cholesterol had gone from bad to good and my A1C went from 101 to 82. I believe that God wants us to be healthy and that He truly wants us to be able to enjoy our life and all that He created for us. I believe that this journey is something that I have to do full out or not at all in order to fully integrate excercise into my lifestyle. I have begun reading labels, eating fresh fruits and veggies and working out at the Y on Monday, Thursday and Saturday and doing an excercise class at my daughters dance studio on Tuesday and Saturday. I like to keep track of weight watcher points just because they have a proven method that works and makes a good guideline to help you know how "bad" for you something might be. I try to focus on freshness and high fiber. I wish I was able to get more things that are locally grown and fresh but am not sure even how to go about it or even that I could afford it. Fresh food has a significant cost difference from processed foods. My family and I need to change how we look at food from a worldly perspective to a Godly perspective and eat to live and not live to eat. So far I have lost 24.9lbs and I feel great. I am down to 264.6 and almost a size 18 again (ah it feels good to be in the teens again!!) My goal is to get to 10 however, I wouldn't be upset if I got into the single digits. My goal weight is 150lbs. I have a long way to go but I know that I can do it and that God can change the way I look at food and my health. I was brought into this world healthy and God is trusting me to be a good steward with what He gave me. I hope you will follow me and encourage me on my journey.